But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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