Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
