Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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