my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
