best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize