So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
