Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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