scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
