Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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