I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
