He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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