where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
