God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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