I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
