i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize