no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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