I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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