can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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