it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
