I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
