He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
