had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
