Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
