There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I wear drunk well.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
