I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
