I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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