i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I queefed so loud it echoed.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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