Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
