Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Randomize
