If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
