I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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