What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
