I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
