if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Randomize