There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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