Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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