How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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