He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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