its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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