God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
