its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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