Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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