Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize