I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize