They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
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