Your dad touched me again.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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