ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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