if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
