i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
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