Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
