Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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