it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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