Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
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He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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