I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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