so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
