the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
