To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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