im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
