508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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