if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
That's when you crack a 10am beer
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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