Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
