If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
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the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
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If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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