i think my tv is drunk
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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