I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
