she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
