Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
