i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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